About Love and Him

"I forget about my feelings for him."

Lied. It is a lie. 

You know when there is a chance you will come back to him. You know a small piece of him reminds you of your entire story about you and him. You know it is impossible to erase him completely. 

"Love is a gift."

You know, love could change your perspective about life. You know, love could transform you to a different person, in a bad way or in a good way. Love would make impossibility is a myth. 

"Loving can hurt. Loving can hurt sometimes. But it's the only thing that I know." 

You sing, you lose.

Same Old Song

That moment when I see you
That moment when I hear your voice
That moment when I feel your presence
That moment when I call your name
Those are moments I treasure the most

I am gifted to have you in my mind

These old songs repeat in my brain
I know it, very well
I challenge my self to sweep them
But still, these same old songs
It repeats, again, again, and again

Don't Let Me Be Yours

That is track from So Good's Zara Larsson. Who doesn't fall in love with Zara's voice? But, now I won't write about her voice (that's truly amazing), but about her song. This song is currently my top list of song. I think this is related with almost everyone's condition. Let's see my interpretation of this song.

Don't Let Me Be Yours

I may know my self, but I realize, I can be let astray

I know, I know that you are bad for my head

But I don't care, I want you anyway

She knows that falling for him is dangerous, it shouldn't, but she enjoys it. She knows the cost, but because she is in love, she can't be thinking rational. If he wants her, she would give herself.

Boy, you you think that you know me

Oh, but you can't see my lonely heart

Things look different in the morning

That's when we find out who we are

He seduces her, but she feels doubt because he can't see what's inside her heart. But, when the morning comes, he is different. Everything is awkward. He finds himself with the her, it's kinda surprising.

Would you still want me?

Without no make up on my face?

Without alcohol in your veins?

Oh, would you, baby?

Would you still love me?

With all the promises you made

Would you still mean the words you say?

Oh, would you, baby?

She wonders, would he still want her just truly she is. Last night he was drunk, he confessed that he loved her and promised she was the one. She wonders last night is his real feelings or just because he was drunk? She hopes the first one.

You know everybody makes mistakes

Don't let me be yours

You know everybody makes mistakes

Don't let me be yours, no, don't let me be

Last night is a mistake. It is a mistake to fall with him because he is someone who can't to be with her. Her brain directs her to avoid it, but it is so hard. So, what can she does is hoping that he won't let her to be his. She begs. 

We may look like hell when it's 6 AM

But it's heaven in this bed

I know, I know, I know that you can tell

That we're more than friends 

And it's not just in our heads

 

She and him are shock in the morning that they are in bed together. But, actually it's a guilty pleasure in that bed. She and him are more than just friends, but no one can tell it.

So, the conclusion is she wants him, but it's treacherous to fall with him. She knows it is wrong, so her heart keeps tell don't let her be his. In other hand, she is curious that he loves her or just drunk last night.

This kinda deep, because many people fall in love with others. But somehow, that can't be together because many factors. But, in fact this love gives little pleasure for them even they can't be together.

At The End, You Decide!

Hello good people!

After I finished my internship, I am back to rearrange my things in campus again :). But, yeah, that's life, you will miss your daily routine, right?

Since my uni years will be ending soon, I have deep thinking about my past, my future, and everything-in-between. This is really important to  make sure what would I be after my roller coaster college life.

Internship in Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Indonesia

As International Relations student is an honor to be part of Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Somehow, I wonder how the diplomats work, how they handle the issues, how they bring nation interest as a state. I read many books and articles about it, but still curious the real situation.

W - Two Worlds

Hi peeps!

After long time hiatus watching drama, so I start again nowadays. Honestly, I easily get boring when watching drama, I dunno. Maybe because I am watching drama since my junior high, so ya...

BUT, this time is different. My intuition said that it will be good, hehehe. The drama I mean is W - Two World. Why I'm interested in this drama?

We Got Married : Eunkook

Hiiii! So sorry I didn't post in July, hehehe...
So, not long time ago, I was youtubing and found We Got Married : Eunkook (Eunha GFriend and Jungkook BTS). WHAAT?? It's already happened?? Why was I so late to know?

K-Pop Dance Must Try

Hi, happy fasting everyone!

In the pas months, I just try not only listen to kpop songs, but imitate the dance. Somehow, when you are in the so 'gabut time' and dunno to do, you try something new, right? Honestly I'm interested in this field since I was in high school, but I am intense do this recently. My suggestion for you who wanna try, just please find the mirrored dance, so you can follow the steps easier :). So, here are the kpop dance you must try!

P.S. It's not priority order by the way :D

1. Me Gustas Tu - Gfriend

This cute and energetic dance is really made my day. Different with other girlgroups who were dominated with sexy moves, Gfriend came with sporty look that make them unique.  

2. Rough - Gfriend

This came back, Gfriend came with girlier look. This song is about first love of girl who can't forget about him, she wishes this love stays. I really like the time machine dance, then turn around, still Gfriend sense, but more mature now.

3. Ohh Ahh - Twice

Aha! This newcomer from JYP is really cute. Nine beautiful ladies dance with cute moves. For your information this girlgroup comes from girl group survival variety show called Sixteen. Those girls are the goal of the variety show. If you wanna imitate good, please pay attention to Momo, she is the lead dancer of the group. Momo is the girl with blonde hair in that video.

4. Shake It - Sistar

Who doesn't know Sistar? This sexy girl group is really popular among my male friends ._. This dance is not hard to follow for sure.

5. Ah Choo - Lovelyz

This wollim girlgroup is really steal my heart because of their sweetness, but somehow I feel this sweetness just too much. Honestly, my favorite girl of this group is Kei, she can dance and sing well. Kei is the girl who sing after 2 girls before sing in the song.

6. Luv - Apink

This is my most favorite dance from Apink. For sure, I like most of Apink songs including the dance also :p. This girl group dance is not really hard to imitate. Feminine, but effortless. I like Eunji, the lead vocal from this grup who get part in high notes, especially scream. Despite of her sing ability, I like her because she is the lead role in my favorite kdrama, Reply 1997. You like kpop? You are better watch that drama :p.

7. Pepe - CLC (Crystal Clear)

This second girlgroup from Cube was debuted in 2015. Before CLC came with new member(s), they have problem with attitude in the variety show, it critized by netizen. I think after Eklie and Eunbin (in the video they haven't join the group) this group have better image.

Need more challenge? I suggest you to try this!

8. The Light - The Ark

This beautiful moves comes with touching song. I almost cry when I see the MV actually. It's about the love from mother to daughter and suddenly the daughter is gone from this world, but still the mother is hard to move on because her deep love to her. Ohhh.

9. Bang Bang - Produce 101

This is called the Avenger team since girls who expert in dance join this group. Chung ha, the girl in the middle in the beginning of video, is really talented actually, she mostly created the dance move with his members. Since it's from the survival girl group variety show, there's no official dance practice. So I found this, maybe it can help.

10. Pick Me - Produce 101

This catchy EDM music promoted by the produce 101 trainees. The dance is little bit hard since it's the ajeb-ajeb song. Again, because it's not officially debut (it's variety show actually), so there's no official dance practice. I suggest you to follow this.

Maybe those can help you if you wanna try to cover kpop dance. The thing is practice makes perfect, if you feel hard to follow, just follow their move step by step, don't press yourself, just have fun :).  Good luck!

Does it Need to Thankful in Stressful-Crazy Times?

The older you are, the more realist you are. I remember when I was 15, I'm totally a dreamer. I want this and that and those and these. But, I just want it without totally did something significant. Well, time goes by, I always try to get what I want because that moment I realize "you get what you deserve". It means that you have to work hard to achieve what you want, if it's not happen means that you don't really work hard or you have bad luck. Instead believing bad luck, I prefer say that I don't work that hard.

I think I go too far from that topic, so let's go back to topic first, hehehe

Many friends of mine always complain about college assignments, presentations, papers, or whatever. I'm not hypocrite, somehow yes indeed I complain, but not that often. Somehow, I just tired for everything that my time isn't enough for my responsibilities. But, again complain won't solve anything. It just makes bold you burden. That's bad. So, instead complaining, it's better to thankful because all happen. Why?

We need positive vibes to solve those problem. We need to divide ourselves in those responsibilities in that deadlines. If we still complain about everything, it gives the bad atmosphere in the mood and will effect for our assignments. So? Be thankful because it happens. You will never know in the future if you have similar problem, you will know how to handle it.

I know that I'm less-experience. But, the demand in the working place right now is really high. Deadlines, presentations, meetings or something that I don't know. We need to be super fast person with high mobilization ability to fulfill and satisfy our responsibilities. So, just remain that those super-duper tight schedule and your responsibilities are just the beginning to build yourself is ready to challenge the world. The world is cruel, you need to be tough to face it. Don't just complain about it, defiance it! Prove that you can beat those things and you are strong enough to finish it.

Once Again, Responsibility

Hola! How are you guys?

Then, I want to talk about something that really important.

Responsibility (n.)

duty to deal with or take care of somebody/something

blame for something bad that has happened

If I were You

Hello, everyone, how's life?

Since it march already, I think I skip a month to write. Am I quite busy? Maybe you can say so. But, now I don't want to write about my problems in my life. I know it's quite boring, it will not solve the problem if I just say it in my personal blog, hmm.

So, let's flay away somewhere and forget the life just now.

If I were you I would not leave her alone
If I were you I would hold her tight
If I were you I would always there for her
If I were you I would do anything to make it together

If I were you...
If I were you....

But, I'm not you
I'm me
That's the fact that never be broken

Goodbye Reply 1988

In the first place, I was so excited about this drama through. Formerly by the-big-hit Reply 1997 that successfully stole my heart. Then, Reply 1994 came with more bold first love story, even though there was a war between trash-najeong and chilbongi-najeong shipper, but still made my day because my shipper won hahaha :D.

Curiosity kills the cat, maybe it's the idiom who describe this drama. When this drama was airing, there were some spoilers flying. For example like PD-nim answer about similarity of Choi Taek and Chilbongi until the came up of wedding scene of the drama. It sucks when people already know the ending, so maybe the PDs decide to change the ending or whatever.

New Year?

Recently, I just found out that I was in the end of December which means that in the end of the year. Honestly, this year, I'm not really excited for the new year's eve. I just think that, what's the difference with others? Not much change for me. I don't know since new year celebration is the middle of my final exam, so I don't have much time to think about, but final papers then of course study. But, now I realize that new year isn't something that crucial to celebrate. I don't against people who celebrate it, but personally new year isn't something that significant effect for my life. 

Photograph

Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing that I know
When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
And time's forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans
Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone, wait for me to come home

Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul
And it's the only thing that I know, know
I swear it will get easier,
Remember that with every piece of you
Hm, and it's the only thing we take with us when we die

Hm, we keep this love in this photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts were never broken
And time's forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans
Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone

And if you hurt me
That's okay baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go
Wait for me to come home
Wait for me to come home
Wait for me to come home
Wait for me to come home

You can fit me
Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen
Next to your heartbeat where I should be
Keep it deep within your soul

And if you hurt me
Well, that's okay baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won't ever let you go

When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost back on Sixth street
Hearing you whisper through the phone,
"Wait for me to come home."

Songwriters
SHEERAN, ED / MCDAID, JOHNNY

15 Top Playlists

This thing was booming couple weeks ago in instagram. Well, I thinks it's not bad if I share now remembering my -oh so- days ahead which will be hectic. Ngeles lagi, kebiasaan el ini loh. Then, here are my top 15 playlists:

Falling in Fall

Hola!

Since in the beginning of September, I am busy (yes, and now still) again, I didn't have much time blogging. I really wanted to actually, but then I didn't have enough time writing. But, now I tried to make it (yeay).

Well, in my summer holiday was little bit different than my other kind-of-summer. This year, I decided not to go anywhere, but here. I spent my (most) whole summer in my room. My kind of activities was watching movies, watching TV, cooking, or everything I could get in home.

Well, honestly, my parents offered me another holiday to go another city, but then I said no. I didn't regret my decision actually, I always miss they way I never care about my sleeping time and feeling selow-mode-on :p.

By the way it's been a week since fall was coming. I always love fall. The weather isn't hot, yet cold. Seeing the leaves change from green into brown and seeing the leaves fall from the tree. This season is all of my favorite. The winds are so friendly and of course the tone of the fashion that suit with this season. People gonna wear coat or others with soil's tone. Everything's simple. I don't hate other seasons, but I prefer fall. And this year, I totally falling for fall.

Be Alay Won't Hurt

Recently I open my old facebook account, then find out some photos which in the past was cool for me becomes "Oh my Gosh, why I chose that kind of weird pose?" or common people said it alay. It's true that mostly people cross the mendes-gondes-alay time to grow up. Well, that time is the precious time to understand reality -how hard life is- and to adapt the real life. The time when you too old to be called child and too young to be called adult, yeah something in between.

It's Rachel McAdams Time!

Finally, summer break! Yeah, after all of hectic things for this semester, I can take a break.

Well, I stock many movies in my lovely lapy to enjoy my summer-stressless time. I would like to review movies that I've seen which Rachel McAdams became the main role. Why Rachel McAdams? I just found out in imdb (you know that source is the trusted source of movie review) about romantic movies. I really want to spend my summer with romantic stories such as (500) Days of Summer or anything like that. So, check it out!

Wish List : Taylor Swift's Champion Sneaky Cat

I found recently in taylornation and fell in love at the first sight with this beautiful shoes. Why do I like it? It's because I love anything that relate with cat. Honestly, it's hard to find 'cat' shoes without feeling childish but elegant and also stunning at the same time. 

But, another reason why I like it because it's Taylor Swift who pick the design. I love her style actually. Her style is elegant but still look like the girl next door. I like the Taylor Swift sign inside the shoes, by the way.

The price is $55.00. Because of the dollar which become more expensive compare to rupiah, it comes more expensive here, it's about Rp. 999.000,00. But, if you love Taylor Swift and also cat, this shoes is your must have item!

5th Anniversary of L and Her Life

How could I forgot my blog's anniversary? Oh, L, please -___-. But, it's better late than never right? Iyain aja deh ya.