About Love and Him

"I forget about my feelings for him."

Lied. It is a lie. 

You know when there is a chance you will come back to him. You know a small piece of him reminds you of your entire story about you and him. You know it is impossible to erase him completely. 

"Love is a gift."

You know, love could change your perspective about life. You know, love could transform you to a different person, in a bad way or in a good way. Love would make impossibility is a myth. 

"Loving can hurt. Loving can hurt sometimes. But it's the only thing that I know." 

You sing, you lose.

Same Old Song

That moment when I see you
That moment when I hear your voice
That moment when I feel your presence
That moment when I call your name
Those are moments I treasure the most

I am gifted to have you in my mind

These old songs repeat in my brain
I know it, very well
I challenge my self to sweep them
But still, these same old songs
It repeats, again, again, and again

Don't Let Me Be Yours

That is track from So Good's Zara Larsson. Who doesn't fall in love with Zara's voice? But, now I won't write about her voice (that's truly amazing), but about her song. This song is currently my top list of song. I think this is related with almost everyone's condition. Let's see my interpretation of this song.

Don't Let Me Be Yours

I may know my self, but I realize, I can be let astray

I know, I know that you are bad for my head

But I don't care, I want you anyway

She knows that falling for him is dangerous, it shouldn't, but she enjoys it. She knows the cost, but because she is in love, she can't be thinking rational. If he wants her, she would give herself.

Boy, you you think that you know me

Oh, but you can't see my lonely heart

Things look different in the morning

That's when we find out who we are

He seduces her, but she feels doubt because he can't see what's inside her heart. But, when the morning comes, he is different. Everything is awkward. He finds himself with the her, it's kinda surprising.

Would you still want me?

Without no make up on my face?

Without alcohol in your veins?

Oh, would you, baby?

Would you still love me?

With all the promises you made

Would you still mean the words you say?

Oh, would you, baby?

She wonders, would he still want her just truly she is. Last night he was drunk, he confessed that he loved her and promised she was the one. She wonders last night is his real feelings or just because he was drunk? She hopes the first one.

You know everybody makes mistakes

Don't let me be yours

You know everybody makes mistakes

Don't let me be yours, no, don't let me be

Last night is a mistake. It is a mistake to fall with him because he is someone who can't to be with her. Her brain directs her to avoid it, but it is so hard. So, what can she does is hoping that he won't let her to be his. She begs. 

We may look like hell when it's 6 AM

But it's heaven in this bed

I know, I know, I know that you can tell

That we're more than friends 

And it's not just in our heads

 

She and him are shock in the morning that they are in bed together. But, actually it's a guilty pleasure in that bed. She and him are more than just friends, but no one can tell it.

So, the conclusion is she wants him, but it's treacherous to fall with him. She knows it is wrong, so her heart keeps tell don't let her be his. In other hand, she is curious that he loves her or just drunk last night.

This kinda deep, because many people fall in love with others. But somehow, that can't be together because many factors. But, in fact this love gives little pleasure for them even they can't be together.

At The End, You Decide!

Hello good people!

After I finished my internship, I am back to rearrange my things in campus again :). But, yeah, that's life, you will miss your daily routine, right?

Since my uni years will be ending soon, I have deep thinking about my past, my future, and everything-in-between. This is really important to  make sure what would I be after my roller coaster college life.

Internship in Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Indonesia

As International Relations student is an honor to be part of Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Somehow, I wonder how the diplomats work, how they handle the issues, how they bring nation interest as a state. I read many books and articles about it, but still curious the real situation.